what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
