He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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