I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
