Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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