She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
