like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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