READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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