hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
