just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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