How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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