I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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