the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
