I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
handjob tips. give me some.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I AM VODKA MAN
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize