I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
