What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
