I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Someone came in the potted fern
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize