I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
