you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize