Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
