worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize