Please don't use social media to get back at me.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
