I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
