we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
