that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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