We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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