I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize