Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
