maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
