i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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