yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
