So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Randomize