You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
