i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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