just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize