I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
