ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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