I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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