i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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