8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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