he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
