I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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