wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
