Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Everclear isn't food dammit
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
