For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
