So drunk, too bad you don't want this
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize