O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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