East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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