I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
