she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
