I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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