Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
