Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm really into asian looking animals
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
