also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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