Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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