Your tits are I can't wait for
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
