i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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