Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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