Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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