i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I wish i was in the wii world.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
